Why Not Me?
by That Tath
Summary: Oneshot. Petunia's thoughts about Lily becoming a witch and not her. Please R&R!


**A/N: I don't own any of the characters. There, ya happy?**

She got the letter.

Oh yes, it was always the perfect Lily that got to do everything. Always got what she wanted when she wanted it. My parents simply _adored_ Lily. Then, she got the letter.

I remember the day perfectly. The owl came in at breakfast, swooping low over the table and dropping a letter into the plate of toast. Dad reached over and grabbed the letter. "It's for you Lily." he said, handing it to her.

Lily took it and opened it, reading it aloud. At first everyone thought it was a joke. Lily didn't think it was though. "What about all that weird stuff that was happening to me though?" she asked. "Why can't I be a witch?"

Well, Mum and Dad finally decided to humor her and take her to London. It was obvious she was a witch as soon as she saw the Leaky Cauldron. "That place doesn't exist." Mum kept saying. As soon as we were in Diagon Alley though, it was obvious. It wasn't a joke. Lily was really going to be a witch.

At first I was so happy for her. We took her to the station, but we couldn't get on to the platform. Only magical people could. I never thought that that would be the first hint that I wouldn't get the letter. The thought never crossed my mind.

I went to a private school that year, but I was always so sure that I would get the letter too. Lily came home for winter break. We met her at the station as she walked out of the wall between platforms nine and ten, saying goodbye to all of her friends, her trunk and owl in her hands.

Lily spent most of the break telling us about life at Hogwarts, about the classes and teacher, the changing stairs, the moving paintings, the ghosts, the houses, her dormitory, the grounds, the students, just about everything there. The longer she talked, the more I wanted to go there too. And I always thought that I would get to see everything next year too.

Before you knew it, it was summer break. Lily spent a fair amount of time trying to finish her homework or writing letters to her friends. Everyday around breakfast I would look out the window, hoping to see an owl arriving. And they did arrive, but they were all for Lily. "Don't worry Petunia." she'd say. "I got mine around the end of July. It'll come." And I never doubted that it would.

Then came the day when the owl appeared at breakfast again, on the last day of July. We all held our breath, recognizing the Hogwarts seal on the back. Dad took the letter and read the name on the front. "It's for Lily." he said, handing it to her. I was hoping, praying, that my letter would be in with Lily's.

Lily opened the envelope and scanned her letter. "It's a reminder of when the school year starts." she said. "And a list of new books I need."

My letter didn't come.

At that point I knew that for some reason, I wouldn't be joining Lily at Hogwarts. I ran out of the kitchen, up to my room, crying at the unfairness of it.

"Petunia?" A voice called from my door. It was Lily. Stupid, perfect, Lily the Witch.

"GO AWAY!" I yelled, throwing one of my stuffed animals at her. She didn't move. I reached over and threw a porcelain figure at her. "LEAVE ME ALONE!"

The figure hit her on the arm, cutting it. I remember her crying out softly, and thinking _Good. Now she knows to leave me alone._ It wasn't really her fault, but at the time it made sense to me.

I made sure that she never bothered me again. Anytime I saw her, I threw something at her or, if I was close enough, punched her. Lily went back to Hogwarts that year with some new scars and bruises. We were never on friendly terms again.

I tried to convince myself that I was better off. After all, at least I was a normal person like her. I wasn't a freak. I hid my pain from everyone. I convinced myself that I didn't need magic. And I thought I was perfectly happy. Until Harry got the letter. And it all came back.

I still pretended to hate magic, oh yes, I put that face back on. It was easier when magic began overflowing. Dudley's tail, the levitating cake, the flying car, Marge swelling up, Dementors, that crazy old man showing up to get Harry all helped me pretend to hate magic.

Yet deep inside me, I'm still questioning what happened years ago.

She got the letter. That much I don't care about. I don't care that she got the bloody letter.

The question I ask myself is _Why?_

Why did she get it and not me?

Why not me?


End file.
